I live to suffer another day...

I am having a major flare. It is in my shoulder and shooting up my neck and down my shoulder blade it's making my right arm weak if I turn to fast or look down; I see spots and get the sharpest of stabbing nerve pain.
Yeah did you know I am the Queen of sarcasm and princess of double meanings? As of yet I cannot drive the six speed that my husband felt was my ONLY option to have... as I have not had a vehicle in over a year and pay half our bills who am I to complain. So I tell my 'Mother' that my wonderful doctor has fit me into his FULLY booked schedule to give me a few joint injections to relieve my pain. What does she do and say. 'Well I HAVE to get my nails done' and she walks away. Big shocker right??
I have tried to deal with this ALL of my entire life. This lack of, to put it mildly....compassion?? My dear neighbor friend has 1,000 times more compassion and caring than my own Mother....but my 'Mother' lives here to HELP me. Its why I pay the bills because she HELPS me so dearly.
I really do think I am loosing it because I am having zero tolerance for such people in my life. My rheumatologist says my rheumatoid arthritis, lupus (SLE) and various autoimmune diseases will only get worse and my main ones are degenerative.
So I ask myself, if they can't deal with this now and do not help me when I need them, why then are they in my life? What did I do in my former life? Do I not pray correctly and stay positive enough? This too will be A) shrugged off like all else I am forced to or B) I will end up super medicated for depression. Hmmmm...
However the bile is rising and choking the life right out of me. Just thinking and feeling, yes even the strongest people FEEL...
-rcc