Lack of Sleep....

Lack of sleep is SO me these days. I take my klonipin as directed and nothing.....still wound up and still no sleep; this is enough to drive any person crazy but since I am already there through no fault of mine I find myself giddy as all hell and yet wired AWAKE...what happened to the good old days before crack heads wrecked the medical systems by fraudulently going from doc to doc....you know the the days where the doctors cared enough to knock you out with some random pill for 8-9 hours of blissful sleep. At this point I am wishing Scotty (yeah the dude from Star Trak) would beam me up...and have Spock radiate my brain into SLEEPING, so I can at least feel somewhat better. I mean it doesn't take a genius to know that withot a decent nights sleep a person with chronic autoimmune diseases like R.A., Lupus (and whatever else my body has collected) are just going to cause you to suffer all night and then flare some more. So to come close to ending my rant... Thank you crack headed addicted fools who have ruined the health care system by adding stigmas for the rest of us, who truly do have a genuine medical condition(s) but are left to suffer with mild like skittle pills AND (because there is always and AND like there is always a BUT with me)they do not do a damnable thing to help me sleep. Don't even get me started on the natural stuff that 'normal' and 'healthy' people seem to feel the need to preach to you. "Oh just take melatonin" or "go for a walk" and have some hot fucking tea with that....I Say screw that! I want to feel no pain as I sleep and be knocked out...preferably for nine hours of deep orgasmic sleep. That just seems like a HUMANE thing to do. Whoever thinks otherwise doesn't know what daily, constant, never ending pain is and should not be judging me or others in my shoes. I am the one that has to face my maker....no one else...and anyways who's to say he or SHE doesn't ask me at those pearly gates (I hope!) Why I listened to dumb asses and let myself suffer? So here I go.....another night to add to the many of NO sleep and severe pain of R.A./Lupus and chronic pain. So who wants to be me now? I would trade these tired old before her time shoes any time, any where, any place. Bring it! :P Live, laugh, love LIFE... Rebecca